I find that a lot of times – especially in public outreach – people just don’t think tactic! For example, say I was delivering a speech about a new product I was creating and what great impact it would have, and I said “maybe it’ll work, if…if…if…and then hopefully…”. That’s actually extremely common, if you just but listen! It’s at the ellipsis people will go on long tangents that might make the lack of assertiveness unapparent, but to those who listen it’s a great confidence destroyer.
Another example – imagine creating an organization, and moving the date of the first meeting because of scheduling conflict after telling prospect members the original date. Or posting on a Facebook group, and a week later reminding others of the post by commenting, rather than creating a new post altogether so all members get a notification!
Where’s the sense in that? Too much we focus on our side of the story, where we might be rather not confident in an idea, rather flexible with schedules, rather thinking about convenience. But what about the recipient, like the investor, the prospect member, the Facebook group user? In order to think tactically, we need to think about the other person, not ourselves.
One last example – convincing someone of an argument. If they disagree with you, and you might be fully hostile in your mind, don’t be hostile with your tongue. Try being diplomatic! Likewise, beyond just empathizing, talk from their side of the story to bring them to your own (rather than just thinking it). I hope that made sense, as I certainly wasn’t thinking about any readers when writing today….
Speaking of, this reminds me of Dale Carnegie’s book How to win Friends and Influence People.